To Be Or Not To Be

"When people go to work, they shouldn't have to leave their hearts at home."

 - Betty Bender

So here I am, taking a break from writing, and what am I doing? Writing.  There's just such a contrast when it's done for pleasure.  It so happens that I'm writing a paper for my Career and Life Planning class on three potential career options.  It truly took everything I had to narrow it down and stick with three to write about because I kept changing my mind.  At the beginning of this year, I had my life completely planned out...for four years, to be exact.  But boy oh boy, did my plans soon change.  College opened up dozens of opportunities that I didn't even know existed and my career class has shown me two dozen more.  Goodness gracious, my life planning isn't working so well.  I was so 1) irritated that I couldn't make up my mind and 2) just plained flustered with all the options.  So, I complied a list (me and my lists...) of the things that I enjoy doing and things that my dream future career would include.  Here are a few I came up with.


Childbirth.  Yeah, that's right.  I seriously find it fascinating!  I attended a birth class with my sister-in-law when she was pregnant and I left feeling so educated and giddy because the information was just so...awesome!  I have since discovered that you can be certified to teach these classes and it's probably the number one career in my mind.  This week, anyway.


Helping others.  I truly want a career that I can interact with people of every kind and hopefully leave a little footprint in their lives.  There's just so much satisfaction that comes when you assist others.


Creativity.  I think it's essential for my future career to involve some kind of creative expression.  I'm a very hands on, artsy gal, and have a strong appreciation for the arts.  I do not enjoy sitting in a cubicle staring at documents.  No sir, that's not for me.  Give me song, give me stage, give me art, give me anything!


Visual achievement.  What I mean is, I like projects that produce an end result that I can actually see.


Working as a team.  I love working together with people to combine ideas and compose one end goal.  There's just something so rewarding about it.  However, I also enjoy freedom and independence to work on my own.  So this one is kind of a half and half thing that requires balance.


There's my list so far.  I'm sure it's really of no interest to you, but these posts are helpful to me.  It's better to work out my thoughts in writing.  So, if any of you have a sweet idea as to what my future job should be, you just let me know.  I'm simply looking for something that keeps me pumped and that I enjoy waking up and going to every day.  Is that so much to ask?

Don't Curse The Darkness...Light A Candle

This past Friday, I went to a movie that just came out this weekend titled, "The Adjustment Bureau."  I'll just start by saying that this may be a bit of a plot spoiler, so only read on only if you'd like.  This movie was completely different than my expectations, and I throughly enjoyed it, so it comes highly recommended by Yours Truly.  However, there's a deeper aspect of this movie that I'd like to ponder on if I may.  In this film, there is a "bureau" of mystery men, a sort of league.  Some people on Earth call them angels.  They are here to make certain that we stick to the "Chairperson's" plan and that every move we make corresponds with the map that has been drawn out for us.  I found the concept totally exciting.  Throughout the movie, this special group of gentlemen have the ability to open any door on the street - a cafe door, a bookshop door, anything with a doorknob - and have it open to where ever they need it to take them.  Without giving too much of the movie away, the lead characters are faced with a challenge in which these doors are involved.  On a few occasions, they turn the knob only to be faced with a location that was not intended...


For the past little while, I hit a bit of a dark place.  I had overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and confusion, brought on by various factors and events occurring in my life.  I knew what would make me happy...yet I did not seek it out.  I think it's safe to say that I'm not the only one that's experienced this.  I'd become exceedingly sad and not understand why, and then think about those who have so much less than I and become upset with myself for feeling selfish.  I mean, if the only thing I have to complain about is my back aching, or a challenging school assignment...then I need to count and re-count my blessings.  And if you're like me, it takes a heck of a smack in the face to realize how much you have.


Today was my smack in the face. I was reminded that I have been given so much.   Lately, I'd been cursing the darkness, unaware of the plan that had been mapped out for me by my Heavenly Father.  Too often I'd feel like another door was being opened for me, only to find out that it didn't lead to where I had expected, and tumble down to pits of discouragement once again...discouraged because life was not going according to my plan.   But it was going according to His.  My ideas are different than those of the "Chairperson's" because I do not carry the diagram of my life, and only He can lead me to the proper doors.


I'm extremely grateful for the angels on Earth that are here to guide us.  I'm thankful for friends who literally let me cry on their shoulder; for family who endures through my grumpy fits; for individuals who have no idea how much they affect my life; for my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with all these things to be grateful for, and been patient with my stubborn soul.


Here's to lighting a new candle...one that hopefully burns brighter and longer than any before.